When someone dies, unless they have been very specific in their funeral plans, the people close to them usually find they are faced with many choices – and with 73% of people favouring cremation over burial, one of these choices is likely to concern what should be done with their ashes.
For some, it is important to scatter their loved one’s ashes, while others like to keep them close or hold a burial service. Depending on your preference, you may be wondering if you need an urn, and if so, which will be the best one for you. In this guide, we explore how to choose an urn, and answer more general questions about their form and purpose.
Cremation, ashes and urns: Useful things to know
What defines a funerary urn? An urn is a vessel designed and created to carry a person’s ashes after they have been cremated. Archaeologists have found pottery urns in China that date back as far as 7000BC, and one community discovered in Bronze Age Europe is known as the Urnfield culture due to their practice of burying their cremated dead in urns over large cemeteries.
What are urns made from? Urns can be made from a large range of materials. Some are biodegradable and eco-friendly, others can dissolve in water, while others are made with longevity in mind, and are crafted from treated wood, metal, ceramics or stone. Similarly, urns can range from very simple to highly ornate.
What are the alternatives to urns? At the crematorium, ashes tend to be put in cardboard or plastic containers in order to be transported back to the family of the deceased. There is no obligation to use any other container for a person’s ashes if this serves your purposes, but scatter tubes – a sturdy cardboard tube in which you can transport cremation ashes – are a cost-effective alternative to urns for those who intend to scatter their loved one’s ashes.
How do you choose an urn?
In order to choose an urn, you will first need to know what you would like to do with the ashes. Like everything else in funeral planning, this choice is highly personal and may be influenced by many factors, like the personality of the person who has passed away, family history, special memories and practical considerations.
While people generally keep, bury or scatter ashes, there are other options, such as using them to create beautiful funeral jewellery – turning your memories into a gemstone you can keep forever. In this case, you are unlikely to need an urn, and only require a container to transport the ashes to jewellery-making professionals.
Urns for burying ashes
If you intend to bury a person’s ashes (perhaps so they can share a resting place with other family members), then it is important to ask the burial ground which materials they accept. A woodland burial site, for example, will not welcome anything but an urn made from natural, biodegradable materials, such as plant fibre, bamboo, seagrass, or wool.
Alternatively, you may have gained permission for a water burial, and wish to lay your loved one to rest in a lake, river or ocean. In this case, it is important to choose an urn made from environmentally friendly materials which will dissolve easily in water. This can be a very meaningful way to say goodbye to someone who loved the water, or who had a free spirit.
Urns for scattering ashes
As mentioned above, scatter tubes are specifically designed with scattering in mind. This makes them the ideal choice for many, as the shape of other kinds of urns can make scattering more difficult. However, there’s no reason why you can’t choose another kind of urn or casket even if you intend to scatter the ashes. It may be the case, for example, that you wish to hold on to the urn as a keepsake and memorial after you have scattered the ashes in a place that’s important to you.
Urns for keeping ashes
Cremation offers the opportunity to create a home or garden memorial and keep a loved one close by, rather than having them laid to rest at a burial site. In this case, an urn needs to be sturdy enough to stand the test of time (and the elements, if it is to be kept outside), but its material and design will be largely up to you and your family.
It may be the case, for example, that you have decided with your family to split the ashes between you and store them in a keepsake urn – a decorative object that has space for a small amount of ashes. Alternatively, if you are creating a memorial garden, a large ceramic urn could be the most appropriate choice.
Outside of practical considerations, the style and decoration of an urn is a matter of personal preference. There are urns to suit any manner of taste, whether you are drawn to highly elaborate, figurative decoration or unadorned minimalism. When choosing an urn that will be kept at home, many people will reflect on what will most connect them to their loved one, and may choose something they feel the person most would have liked themselves.
The fact that there are so many options when it comes to funerary urns may make the prospect of choosing the right one overwhelming. If you are having difficulty deciding, please ask your funeral director for advice. The team at Harold Wood Funeral Services are proud to spend their days sensitively guiding people through the many choices of the funeral planning process, and are more than happy to help you if this is something you are struggling with.